Living in Thailand vs. just traveling
The Temples of Chiang Mai. Photo: Christian Haugen / Flickr Creative Commons
Some travelers go to a place that seems wonderful. They think, “Wow, I want to live here.” But after they move, they realize that living somewhere is a much different situation than simply passing through as a traveler. As a traveler, you see the wonderful sights. As an expat, you get an up-close look at the challenges of adjusting to a new culture.
Visas and immigration are a big headache in most countries. It’s easy to feel isolated if there are not many people around who speak your language. In less-developed countries, finding adequate health care can be a big concern.
Here’s a discussion thread about the best smaller city in Thailand from ESLcafe.com, a popular website for English teachers abroad. The comments quickly turned to the hard realities of living abroad and the “trap” of getting stuck in one place for too long.
This situation could actually happen anywhere, but I thought Thailand was a particularly apt example. It’s dangerously easy to fall in love with Thai culture, food, weather, and the low cost of living.
Many expats unintentionally stay longer than they expected if they marry a local. Sometimes I wonder if expats become so seduced by the place that they project this romance onto a person. Then when the country disappoints them, they fall out of love with their partner as well.
Do you know any places that are better to keep as travel destinations, not spots to settle down? Share your stories in the comments.
April 2nd, 2010 at 8:49 am
I agree that you can become disillusioned after a while. Unless you’re really into your surroundings, it can be tough to live in a city for more than three months. You may dig it at first but then reality sets in and hits you hard. I met a woman who loves Bolivia. She’s an English teacher and just received an opportunity to go back there to teach English. She also taught English in China and Ecuador. Karen has no problem adjusting and adapting to her surroundings — she blends in with the culture and loves it. You must really, really want to experience a city and that means the good, bad, and ugly!
April 2nd, 2010 at 4:42 pm
There’s a joke I first read in the book “Quit Your Job and Move to Key West.” A man dies and is allowed into Heaven. He’s pleased, but Paraside is borning: angels signing, the faithful playing harps on clouds, etc. He asked God what Hell is like, and God unhappily replies he could check the place out for a few days to see if he likes it. The man goes to Hell and it’s a non-stop party. Drinking, sex, skydiving, etc0,. are happening everywhere. Everything he wants, he gets. He has the time of his (after)life and tells God he’s staying in Hell. God grants him his wish, and when he returns, he’s thrown into a vat of boiling oil, does hideous tasks all day, and is roasted on a spit at night. He asks Satan what happened, and the Devil replies “Last time you were on vacation; now you live here!”
April 2nd, 2010 at 6:08 pm
For me, Asuncion, Paraguay. Beautiful place to visit for a week, gracious people, big city or peace and quiet, whichever you’re into. Great Latin food and culture. BUT there’s nothing around – you’re trapped in the middle of a humongous continent!
April 4th, 2010 at 1:01 am
I think it is pretty obvious to most people that living in a place is a lot different than just passing through as a traveler. Also, there is no utopia on this earth. Not France, not Germany, not New Zealand, and not Thailand, so it would be best if people went into this sort of thing with a little bit of realism as opposed to an idealistic notion of reality.
Lastly, Chiang Mai really isn’t a “smaller city”. It is in fact pretty big.
April 7th, 2010 at 10:41 pm
Many of the differences people experience between living somewhere and just visiting are attributable to mindset. When you’re on vacation, you’re seeing the highlights, eating out, partying, etc., and you feel a certain relief at being away from your “real” life. When you move somewhere, or when you’re in a place long enough that it becomes your life, you have to deal with everyday frustrations that we all face regardless of where we live. But, as the Backpack Foodie said, the reward is a more authentic experience if you’re open to the challenge. That’s why my husband and I travel very slowly, spending 2-4 months in each spot. Our experiences may not be as authentic as living in a place for years but they provide more understanding for what is authentic in each environment.
September 21st, 2010 at 9:35 am
Having traveled extensively throughout South East Asia and having lived in both Cambodia and Thailand. I do agree that there is certainly a difference between short vacations and living in a place for a long time.Living in a place for extended periods of time and not becoming disillusioned or suffering some kind of homesickness depends on many different factors.While it is true that after the excitement and fascination with different cultures passes, sometimes quite quickly.A lot depends on where you are. large cities like Bangkok have more to offer a westerner including lots of westerners, however if you find yourself in a small regional town for several months it becomes very frustrating indeed.There is the Language and cultural differences also the poverty and a general lack of resources.The cuteness and the novelty of the innocence of the people soon give way to realization of general ignorance and lack of education, corruption and grinding poverty and general bad hygiene.I also find the annoyance of being a farang (foreigner) in a remote place a bit like a animal in a zoo.All of these things can send a traveler a bit stir crazy and just want to go somewhere else.People are basically the same the world over greed and stupidity are everywhere and while there are great experiences to be had and wonderful people to meet and amazing places to see, just be reminded its equally balanced by the ugly,stupid and criminal.If i spend long periods of time in one place i tend to loose myself in my work as a photographer.This puts a lens between me and my surroundings its a bit like becoming detached from whats happening around me and more like a voyeur or a witness to the passing world.The realities of another country take a while to expose themselves to you and while its true you can have more rewarding experiences, you can equally have some very disturbing experiences and can be thoroughly disgusted by what you see more than what you would expect.The treatment of domestic animals for example.The beautiful and the ugly are everywhere, in some places its just far more extreme.