How to explain your travel dreams to skeptics
After 4-years of a high-flying career in public relations, when I quit my job to move overseas with the sole aim of living a different culture and traveling, everyone thought I was nuts; that I had completely lost the plot.
Outside western culture, taking a gap-year, a sabbatical, or time-off to travel is not common — it’s almost unheard of.
“You are running away from responsibilities, from a stable and safe life; where will all these random long-term travel and living abroad plans take you in the future?” was the standard question thrown at me consistently.
I’ve been living in Spain for the last year and a half and I still often get phone calls and emails from extended family asking me: “so when are you going to stop bumming around and get a real job?”
In the beginning I used to get defensive and would go on to have heated discussions on my plans. I would try to convince everyone that my decision rocks, and they should think about doing the same.
Deciding to travel or live abroad for an extended period of time is a great decision, but not an easy one when you have lived 8 years of a conventional life. When people dear to you don’t understand what you are doing, it can have a damaging impact and even stop you from taking the leap to explore the world.
If you are in such a situation, here are a few pointers that may help:
- Once you have decided to take the step and are 100% sure, when you start talking about your plan to friends/family and you get ‘you are crazy’ looks, smile and cut down your explanation on why you want to take-off.
- State your decision, try not to ask for opinions. If you feel the need for more opinions, you are probably still undecided about your decision to take-off for a long period of time.
- It takes a whole lot of guts and self-confidence to travel long-term, especially if you are an adult with a detailed professional history. Many people will shred you on it because they are envious of you.
- Those who are thrilled about what you are doing will come to you and will want to hear your plans; talk to them, their encouragement will take your spirits to a different level.
- If people do show interest, talk to them but don’t try to convince them to do anything, that is their decision to take.
As Rolf says in about Vagabonding: Time is the only wealth we have, vagabonding is about that time, and how we choose to use it.
That’s all you need to remember, really.
October 9th, 2007 at 12:47 am
It’s like I’m mirroring you! I’ve been wanting to go to Spain for a year–just to experience something different (and to improve my Spanish). I have a steady job in journalism and have been getting the same kind of reactions as you’ve listed. I’d been wondering how to respond. Thanks for the great post 🙂
October 9th, 2007 at 2:01 am
All you say is true. I left my job in 2000 for a gap year and I am still unable and unwilling to close that gap. Still on the road.
After an initial “missionary” state, where I wanted to turn all my friends in travelers, I realized that that was a personal experience with no need for explanations.
They will admire you anyway as inside them they know it is the right decision.
October 9th, 2007 at 3:56 am
I couldn’t agree more! I’m currently taking a journalism degree and plan to have a gap year after. I’m lucky to have a supportive family and piers. What does make me laugh is the people that tend to consider the gap year as a method of escapism are the ones who love those typically British holidays and spend their nights abroad in typically British pubs, sucking up the typically British atmosphere! mmm culture awareness!
October 9th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Go for it, we spend our entire lives accumulating and supporting STUFF. It is surprising how much STUFF you do not have to have. There is a big difference between Want and Need. Keep Walking and Live Well.
October 9th, 2007 at 11:02 pm
And don’t forget that living as a foreigner abroad is a lifestyle choice. After living in Hungary in the “cheap, easy-going” days of the 90s, I came back to Budapest and found myself working at a multinational – just what I was trying to avoid in the States! But after putting in 4 years of my time, I actually learned something, developed a good relation with the company and am able to work for them and others from home.
In my weirdo world I can cook soup in the middle of the day, go for a run or to the gym if I’m not in the mood for work or even go to a museum.
People are pretty jealous, even here, but I can also imagine how people might look down upon such a lifestyle back home.
October 14th, 2007 at 9:38 pm
It sounds like a cool lifestyle. How does one go about doing it with financial support?
October 24th, 2007 at 4:11 am
> How does one go about doing it with financial support?
People seem to find ways to make do
January 8th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
I’ve got a five week solo tour of Argentina in the making for this summer and I have encountered plenty of “crazy looks” and people who tell me how I’m going to pull it off. I say to them, screw you. Mad props to all those who drop what there doing to do what they want to do in a world that is so mechanical and process oriented and narrow minded aka america.
January 20th, 2008 at 10:45 am
Hey! I loved Spain and Italy and England and the Carribean ( I think that’s how you spell it) and France (the buildings not the people) and Hawaii. Visited or lived in them all. I can’t say I really have loved living in America…I’m 38 with a $22 hr. Job that is not hard and a home and a nice truck and a crabby wife and two awsome kids. So why am I still looking for my place in this world? What I really want to do is work full time at a Christian Camp someplace in the mountains where people really learn how to live and what’s really important in life. Friends, fun and a personal sence of satisfaction at the end of the day. I don’t go for it because I haven’t found anywhere I really want to go. I could start my own camp for the broken hearted and internally wounded but $$$$$$. My wife want’s me to stay safe and where I’m at but I really don’t like what I’m doing and I’m not making a difference by helping anyone else out of their crap. Jesus say’s he came to give me life and life to the full! So I want to really live! I need guts. Rob
January 20th, 2008 at 10:57 am
I forgot to mention that I visit some different drug and alcohol recovery ministries and am active in Celebrate Recovery so I guess I do make some difference and also I love playing on worship music teams and I’m not a half bad dad but…I still cry out inside for what I was truly created for! argh.