Dealing with love on the road

Falling in love on your vagabonding trip is something you don’t plan. Flings and hook-ups are commonplace, but when you find someone you love, your whole further plan can go for a toss.

Ever since I’ve been on the road, my outlook to life has been different. I’ve been generally chilled out with a happy-go-lucky-come-what-may attitude. The realization that everything in your life is temporary, i.e. impermanent (the universal law of nature!) rings like a loud bell, helping you enjoy the present and snap out of moments that bring you down because you know they are not going to last — as tomorrow you will be in a new place, doing new things.

But, all this goes for a home-run when you find someone special and you are left painfully perplexed. Traveling opens your mind and heart to an extent that it’s easy to confuse a situational romance to real love; of course at that moment you will not realize it. Nevertheless, what do you do now? You still have a year planned on the road. Do you abandon it and stay put so you can be with this person? Or do you take it in your stride and enjoy the time you have, but move on when you must? Letting go is hard, and when in an emotional whirlwind it seems impossible to come to terms with.

I recently came across an article at Brave New Traveler that addresses this issue so wonderfully, it’s a must read for those who think they may have found ”the one” on the road.

It says that one of the helpful things you can do to figure it out in some way, is ask yourself this question:

Do you see yourself incorporating this person into your life at home?

The article also says:

The experiences you take from your on-the-road love affairs can help you take yourself a bit less seriously. Openness and detachment is always the best recipe.

I think you also need to listen to your instincts and reason with a practical mind, before you decide to throw your further travel plans in the dustbin to be with a person.This is easier said that done, but taking some time alone, away from the person to figure it out clarifies many things. What you realize may be hard to accept, but that’s probably the way things need to be.

Someone once said to me: there are 3 types of people you encounter in your life.
1) Ones that come, and go.
2) Ones that come, teach you something, and go.
3) Ones that come, and stay.

Lovers on the road are most probably going to be the second type; only time can tell if they are going to be the third type. Time in one place is one thing you don’t have much of on the road. So keep this in mind if you are planning an indefinite detour on your trip because you think you are in love.

Posted by | Comments Off on Dealing with love on the road  | January 15, 2008
Category: Notes from the collective travel mind

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