“The Dark Side of Travel Romance” at Yahoo! News
My latest Yahoo! News travel column focuses on the idiosyncrasies of romance on the road. As I say in the opening paragraphs:
When it comes to the ways of love and romance, no aphrodisiac is quite so potent as travel. On the road — freed from the dull routines and restrictions of home — you become more open, more daring, more willing to seize the moment. Away from home, the people you meet (be they locals or fellow travelers) seem sexier, more exotic, less repressed — and this makes you feel sexy, exotic, liberated. Freed from your past, happily anonymous, and filled with a sense of possibility, you are never more willing (or able) to fall headlong into a love affair.
The only downside is this: Don’t try to rekindle things when you get home. It simply doesn’t work. Ever. Regardless of how great you and your lover felt in Rio; regardless of how seamlessly the two of you bonded in Paris; regardless of memories you cherish from Koh Samui, you are only inviting heartbreak if you try to resume the romance in Hackensack or Burbank or Minnetonka.
To read the full column, click here. To disagree, agree, and/or share your own road romance stories, feel free to comment below!
April 12th, 2006 at 8:33 am
Interesting topic! I met a rather incredible fellow in Central America and we kept an intense long distance relationship going for 2 1/2 years. He came to visit me twice while I was working in Japan, I went to the UK for three months to be with him, and he came to meet my family in the states over Christmas. So, my experience is that it’s possible. Not easy, but possible!
April 12th, 2006 at 12:41 pm
Rolf– You seem to love Minnetonka. I’m from Minnetonka. That’s great! Would like to come for Easter? It’d be a blast. We could hunt for easter eggs, drink whiskey, and eat ham. If you’re in Minnesota shoot me an email and if you have a place to stay.
Warmly,
Drew
Sophomore at St. John’s University
April 12th, 2006 at 3:08 pm
Hey Drew — I’m always a sucker for whiskey and ham, but I’m afraid I won’t be in Minnetonka this Easter (and I’ll confess that I’ve never been there, even though I’ve mentioned it twice in stories over the past few years). Have a great Minnetonka Easter, though!
April 12th, 2006 at 3:55 pm
It seems that travel allows us to enjoy “pleasure in the simplest moments” in ways we don’t at home. We enjoy tropical rains, while we curse a rainy day at home. We eat foods from street vendors (and they’re usually delicious) that we’d never try at home. We sleep in hammocks or on the ground and call it paradise. We’re willing to try more and are happier with less when we travel. So doesn’t it follow that finding romance on the road is somehow easier than finding it at home? But does that mean that the romance is somehow less real, that back at home – “it simply doesn’t work – ever”. Isn’t it all a state of mind and traveling just lets us fall in love with everything much easier?
April 13th, 2006 at 6:20 am
After the most amazing adventures in the Ozzie outback, my Austrian companion and I parted ways. Ten years later we are very happily married. No, it’s not that simple and there were many difficult years, huge phone bills, and a lot of last minute plane tix, and huge cultural gaps to cross.
But in the long run, it was totally worth it – and we still travel together as well as we did when we first met.
I’m just sayin.
April 13th, 2006 at 6:00 pm
Sorry, but I don’t agree. My parents met on the road (a 4 month African safari in the 1970s) and are still happily married.
April 13th, 2006 at 7:46 pm
I can definitley relate to the lure of the exotic in ‘on the road’ relationships, and the illusion of freedom and adventure that so often accompanies yourself and your partner.
That being said, and for all my failed travel romances, I’m now happily living in Osaka with a great Japanese girl I met last year in Thailand.
We’ve also spent time together in Australia (my home country) and will probably return there at some stage through 2007.
Great article Mr Potts! You really captured the moment 😉
April 14th, 2006 at 4:50 pm
Thanks for the feedback, everyone! Interesting stuff…
April 16th, 2006 at 7:57 pm
Oh it is vulnerability, holding on to each other in a reality whiteout that lasts for minutes but seems like days or some such ratio. Such is not replicable. Oh those sharing it may indeed be lead into a lasting relationship, but I find it curious the explanations that seek to dispel the magic with exceptions sound more like work than magic. To me, Rolf is portraying the magic of the moment that turns fear into an emotional intensifier that is beyond description at the time and ever after, but can become grotesque when exposed to a familar background. The great opportunity to have those experiences is multiplied many fold by travel. Just because an deep interpersonal experience in short does not make it negative just very, very special. It is the sort of thing to be treasured and appreciated. It lies at the periphery of the human experience of love. Oh if only more could be that vulnerable at least once in their lives. I think we all would all understand our common humanity a bit better. Excellent topic Rolf.
April 19th, 2006 at 5:12 am
Yes you’ve been talking about the difficult transition of going from the “living in/for the moment” to the banalities of living in one’s home country together. But that’s particularly difficult I think when you’re from the same country/region.
It’s all different though when you’re from different countries and backgrounds. Then you’ve got to choose at some point: “Will we live in mine or his or somewhere in between or somwehere completely different?” I met my English husband in Korea and we’ve lived together in several Asian countries and have no idea exactly where we’ll end up: perhaps South America or southern Europe. Because of our complementary passports and commitment to travel, the entire world is open to us.
What a wonderful choice it is indeed.