Saying goodbye and moving on

My plan to vagabond around Europe was initially a 6-month one, beginning in Valencia. It’s been almost a year-and-a-half now. Then, my plan was to wrap-up here in Spain end of 2007 and move to Costa Rica for a while so I can explore South America, but I’ve decided that I’m not ready to leave Spain yet and will stay another year.

When the time came for me to pack-up and leave Valencia, I bawled. And bawled.

Initially, I wasn’t sure if I bawled because I was leaving Valencia, or because I thought that my vagabonding stint had to end.

Now I think it was more the latter. I went back to Dubai and officially quit my job (I was lucky to have been given a 6-month sabbatical on grounds of insanity, as my boss said to me 🙂 and moved back to Spain, but to Madrid instead. The plan was a year. But now I want to stay another.

Only recently did I decide to extend my life here, and the just thought that if I hadn’t made that decision, right about now I would be tying loose ends and getting ready to go, is unnerving.

A lot of things happen when you live abroad for a limited period of time. You cherish every moment because of the utter realization that you are in transit. You make great relationships, you learn a lot about yourself and the world around you, you grow — but what hits you hard is that once you are out, the chances of you going back and living this marvelous life full of exploration and experiment, are very minimal.

It upsets me to think that a part of my life has to end when I move. How do you say goodbye? But do you really have to? You know if you ever went back to visit and attempt to re-live your stay, it would not be the same. Leaving Valencia after 6-months of being based from there was hard. The internal issue I’m dealing with now is that although I know (most probably) that I will leave Madrid sooner than later, I can’t imagine leaving my life here.

It’s exhilarating to move on to your next destination. But it’s also hard. Probably the hardest part of this type of nomadic lifestyle.