Regrets of the dying, lessons for the living
Photo from Montgomery Martin
I’m assuming most Vagablogging readers are not in their final weeks, but I am certain that the lessons here are central to the vagabond psyche and will inspire anyone who gives the article a read. The regrets can relate especially to long term travel, whether it’s a two month break in career or a permanent lifestyle redesign, and the anxieties experienced by those who may second guess a big decision. They echo the ideologies expressed in Vagabonding – that taking a “deliberate, time-honored walk through life” is much more rewarding than living as others see fit. It seems that in life’s final moments, we will have more regret about not doing something than about taking a potentially life altering risk in the pursuit of happiness.
Ware’s findings, like much of the content and lessons in Vagabonding, act as a reminder that this life is short. It reminds us to focus less on the rat race and more on making meaningful use of our time, living not as others expect us to live but as we choose to live. “Vagabonding is not a lifestyle, nor is it a trend. It’s just an uncommon way of looking at life – a value adjustment from which action naturally follows. And, as much as anything, vagabonding is about time – our only real commodity – and how we choose to use it.” I think about Vagabonding and these five regrets of the dying and remind myself that a gap in my resume for long term travel is much more rewarding than a year behind my desk.
Is our society too focused on the pursuit of achievement instead of the pursuit of happiness? Do we suppress our emotions and work too hard in search of career progression, and too often sacrifice family, friends and time? If these dreams of living as others see fit don’t materialize, will we be left with the 5 regrets of the dying?
Considering a big risk? Take the leap! We learn here that it’s better to have risked and lost than never to have risked at all.
March 20th, 2012 at 12:36 pm
When my grandfather dies in 2003, I began thinking about this topic. So far as I know, he died with no regrets, and I want to follow him in that. The event of his death marked a beginning for me in living my life deliberately.
March 20th, 2012 at 1:07 pm
Thank you for introducing me to this fantastic article. Your “go with the flow” and pursue what you want attitude is so inspiring!
March 20th, 2012 at 2:09 pm
Very inspiring. Appreciate your attitude and hope to take it to heart!
March 21st, 2012 at 11:40 pm
I enjoy your perspective. I hope someday do to what you’re talking about. But right now I love what I do for a living. In my profession, my job description is constantly changing and all of the fun jobs are right now while I’m still younger. I worry that by the time I can really take on a long term adventure I will find that I have already turned into a boring adult. I don’t want to miss out on the opportunity to be spontaneous but I don’t want to and can’t leave my job right now.
March 22nd, 2012 at 7:59 am
My wife and I have been married for 12 years. Each year we contemplate the next great vacation trip. Each year we consider the extent to which we can’t afford the trip in terms of time and money. Each year we take the trip, in large part because our fathers died suddenly in their 50s of heart attacks and neither lived to see, let alone enjoy, retirement. We can hear our fathers, both wise men, tell us to enjoy one another and our time together seeing other bits of the world while we can, while we are alive. Perhaps we take these trips so we will never regret not taking them. In June we are going to Scotland for 2 weeks. I will have the pleasure of spending 2 weeks with my wife seeing new sights without distractions or work. My son will join us for 5 days and I will have the added pleasure of showing him a piece of Scotland. If my 401k suffers a bit, so be it; I can’t put a price on time spent traveling with my wife and son.
March 22nd, 2012 at 8:18 am
@Zack BBW:Sounds like you are doing the right thing. Make your money now while your job talents are valuable, but know yourself and figure out when you are well enough set that you can move to the next level of life.
I was in my forties before I began serious travel and appreciated not having to worry about making my trips pay for themselves.
The major down-side of this sensible counsel is that the world is changing and homogenizing and some of what one generation found may not be there for the next generation. But then that’s a problem with just about everything.
March 27th, 2012 at 1:32 am
Good point. You never know what’s next. Make the most of the time you have.