Of all the holidays, Halloween seems to be the most interesting one to experience at 35,000 feet, next only to April Fool’s, perhaps. I was lucky enough to be on a flight to Las Vegas last April 1st where the flight attendents conviced a majority of the passengers—amazingly enough—to shout their mid-flight drink orders into the overhead reading light. Halloween, though—you just can’t top the people-watching qualities of the airport on a day where grown men are moved to dress like women.

James Wysong (who also goes by the pen name A. Frank Steward) knows this. He’s spent the last 15 years as a flight attendent, and in 2003 he wrote “The Plane Truth: Shift Happens at 35,000 Feet” — a collection of oddball stories from his long career in the sky. Most recently, he has compiled a list of 10 costumes to avoid wearing if you plan on boarding a plane this Halloween.

“On Halloween, most airline crew members are allowed to wear a costume to work. Some costumes are elaborate and well thought out, while others look like a last-minute throw-together. Sometimes passengers get into the spirit and dress up as well. Every year there is someone — a passenger or a crew member — who takes dress-up a little too far.”

Here are a few costumes he reccomends you leave at home this year:

•Osama Bin Laden
•Drunken pilot
•Airline CEO
•Suicide Bomber
•Feminine hygiene product

Each one of the horrible ideas listed in the full article were actually worn by someone on a plane (the Bin Laden costume by a pilot, no less) as witnessed by Jason in his 15 years of flying.

To see his entire list of costumes, along with the context each was worn in and “the consequences that followed,” head over to Tripso.com.