Travel-testing your relationship: My newest column at Yahoo
With Valentine’s Day approaching, Americans are once again getting ready to celebrate (or bemoan) the idea of romantic relationships. Much has been written about signs of partner compatibility, but few concrete activities test the validity of an incipient romance like traveling together. In packing your bags and hitting the road with your lover, you aren’t just leaving home — you’re leaving behind the habits, routines, and comfort zones that keep that relationship on neutral ground.
Thus, my newest travel column at Yahoo! News explores the ways in which travel serves to reveal the compatibility of a romantic bond. Romance is not a science, of course — and I don’t recommend treating every romantic vacation like it was some cosmic litmus test of compatibility. Still, here are ten factors I suggest one keep in mind:
1)The Expectation Factor
2)The Financial Factor
3)The Flexibility Factor
4)The Teamwork Factor
5)The Space Factor
6)The Sociability Factor
7)The Stress Factor
8)The Food Factor
9)The Time Factor
10)The Romance Factor
For expanded thoughts on each of these factors, as well as reasons why this relationship “travel test” is a good idea, check out my Yahoo column here.
February 12th, 2007 at 2:55 am
I read your thoughts on this a few days ago when it was posted. I must say I wasn’t entirely happy with the ‘factor’ idea. It feels to static to me. I guess that’s what you felt when you wrote, “If in doubt, don’t over-think things; just get into adventures together and have a good time!”
Though your factors are indeed realistic and in fact quite apt, I find that factorizing is too complicated, too much over-thinking.
(Another note: many of the factors are generally applicable to all two+ travel groups.)
February 12th, 2007 at 8:09 am
Sure, Timen. The last thing I want is for a bunch of earnest couples to print off the list, put it in their travel bag, and over-examine their relationship at every stage of their travels. The “factors” are meant to be taken in a very broad sense. My point, I guess, is that these kind of compatibility issues might take awhile to surface at home, whereas on the road they are confronted immediately. If things go wrong (or right) for a given partnership during a journey, they are issues to be honestly considered.
February 14th, 2007 at 5:33 am
Ralf I wondered if this article was written from personal experience? I think that one can overlook the issue of compatability in the early stages of a relationship. It is wonderful being in love and it can be hard to think in practical terms about how you will get along together a few years down the line. I just don’t know how you strike a good balance. You don’t want to be too earnest in having a list of criteria that your partner must fulfil but you can’t just assume because you are in love that everything will work out fine.
September 9th, 2009 at 4:26 pm
I have to smile at this list,after 25 years of marriage i have read that such things also counts,but i never had to deal with such big issue’s.
Sure it is a give and take relationship,endurance,patient etc,
but when you love each other you can beat all the odds.