The five stages of long term travel

Hikers on Mount Fuji in Japan. Photo: Azlan DuPree / Flickr

Travel is as much an internal journey as an external one.  As we move through countries and accumulate stamps in our passports, we’re logging miles. However, a more subtle odometer is ticking away in our minds.  Our attitudes and personalities evolve as we see more places, meet more people.

Dave, a vagabonder who writes “The Longest Way Home” blog, had a great post titled, The five stages of long term travel.  In an honest and thoughtful way, he traced how he adjusted to the joys and sorrows of an extended trip.  For reference, there’s a trip time counter at the top of the left sidebar.

What I liked was Dave’s realistic portrayal of the lifestyle, seeking neither glory nor sympathy, simply the truth.  Living abroad brings its own set of challenges, that can match–or even exceed–the stress of the 9-to-5 routine.  In Year 3, he makes a confession:

During this year I found loneliness sneaking up. Along with a loss of purpose. Day to day in normal life we have jobs. An anchored social life, and routine.

I found emails drying up from friends once they realize “Oh, he really is going through with this thing.

It was a struggle to keep going and stay motivated. I’d not accomplished anything in my mind. Other travelers became less interesting again, as I’d been there and done that.

That passage resonated with me.  From my third year abroad and onward, I began to feel like I was drifting.   Not accomplishing anything.  This was also the time that I started to lose touch with friends back home.  Although I tried to be present for them with e-mails and Facebook comments, there was this inexorable gap that was growing.

There’s a sense that Dave misses having a job.  Not for the paycheck, but for the structure and purpose.  I know that feeling.  Once you land in another locale, you’re suddenly in charge of your life.  On the bright side, this freedom teaches us to become more self-reliant.

The great thing about travel is that it strips away all the voices telling you who you are, what you should do. The sad thing is that travel doesn’t automatically fill in that void.  There’s a lot of work to do, to get in touch with who you are and what you want out of life.  That deep level of introspection can daunting for many of us who are used to the pressure from family, friends, society, media, etc.

Loneliness can be crushing, as Dave said.  Especially if you make cool friends, but constantly say goodbye to them.  When I worked in Asia, the crowd would change every year.  When I was backpacking in hostels, the scene would change every day.  Building lasting relationships is essential to our well-being, but extremely tough to accomplish while on the road.

Dave ends the story on a positive note.  He re-discovered his purpose and got inspired again in his quest to find a true home.

How have you changed as you vagabonded for years at a time?  What were the highs and lows you experienced?  Please share your stories in the comments.