A little over a year ago, I blogged a curious item from Esquire, wherein film director Barry Sonnenfeld sang the praises of using Tucks hemorrhoid pads as a more sanitary form of toilet paper. “Tucks,” the film director exulted, “are like a romp through a field of daisies for your butt.”

At the time, I used this tidbit to bring up the fact that toilet paper simply does not exist in most parts of the world (such as Asia), and that most world citizens consider water a much cleaner way to wash after “going number two”. Water-wiping enthusiasts (including many die-hard vagabonders) insist that their method is superior, arguing that if you had shit on your face, you would use water to wash it off instead of paper. Thus, they reason, water-wiping makes for a cleaner bum.

So what is it like when water-wipers are faced with the horror of using toilet paper in places like the United States? The following item, from the August issue of Harper’s, gives us some vivid clues:

From an anonymous contribution to “Lotah Sto