By Cedar Van Tassel

[Note: The following travel-themed short story is by my nephew Cedar, who attends Southeast of Saline School in north-central Kansas. Now eight, Cedar began writing for this blog at age four, and his contributions have included metaphysical fiction, an interactive mummy poem, and a book review.]

One day Grandma Mushdash had a yearning to play baseball. When she was signing up for baseball a baseball player shouted, ”Hey, Grandma! Why do you have such a big nose and mustache!?!” Grandma just glared at him.

Suddenly a baseball flew through the air. Grandma Mushdash grabbed a bat and hit the ball. The ball flew around the world in less than five seconds. Grandma Mushdash jumped on the ball and flew to Australia. The first person she saw was a nomad. The nomad asked Grandma Mushdash if she was a nomad. Grandma Mushdash said, “No.”

Grandma Mushdash traveled into a forest. She found a place in the forest she liked and built a little hut there. One day a pack of monkeys came to the hut, they started to like Grandma Mushdash. They played with Grandma Mushdash’s big mustache, and she named all five monkeys. One was called Brownie and another was called Hairy, there was one called Banana and one was even called Tricky! And of course there was Nomad.

Mostly, Grandma Mushdash and the monkeys ate bananas, different kinds of roots and sometimes they had hamburgers from the market. They drank from streams in the rainforest. That’s how Grandma Mushdash lived for the rest of her life.

This is a book about warning signs. The author wrote the book because he thought warning signs from other countries are neat. The book is to show people the signs that they see, which help people figure out what to do. They use pictures instead of words so you see what could happen.

For example, there is a picture of a wheelchair racing down a hill towards water. There must be sharks or other creatures down at the bottom of the hill. If you’re in a wheelchair and somebody let go of you, you would roll down the hill into the water and be eaten. Another sign says “Beware” and shows a car hitting a cow. There might be cows coming across the road and a car might hit them. Another picture looks like someone standing—we just see his legs—and some sort of saw or machine is coming towards the man’s knee. This sign warns you a saw might be coming and it might saw your leg off.

This book is good. I like it because there’s lots of things you’ve probably never seen. You can look at them and say, “I’ve never seen this sign before.”

The book might be better if there were words on the bottom that told you what the pictures are. The pictures would be more interesting if the people had eyes and you could see their hands. The colors are okay. If I drew these pictures I would use colors I thought people might be wearing.

I would recommend this book to someone who likes signs.

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Note: Cedar Van Tassel will enter the second grade at Southeast of Saline School in north-central Kansas next month. His past contributions to Vagablogging have included a book about God, a poem about monsters, and in informational science article about the natural world. He recently noted to this mother that his Uncle Rolf is “not an adult.”

Recent Vagablogging.net guest book reviews include Bill Jenkins’ review of Elliott Hester’s Adventures of a Continental Drifter, and Tom Davis’ review of Paul Theroux’s Dark Star Safari.

My nephew Cedar, who is now five years old and attending kindergarten in north-central Kansas, has written a new poem. Here it is:

[Luke Oak's latest artwork, which he tells me is a "camel".]

My youngest nephew, Luke Oak Van Tassel, is not quite old enough to be as verbal as his big brother Cedar — but he has taken quite a shine to drawing pictures. Above is a recent piece (no doubt influenced by the Dada movement of the early 20th century) that Luke Oak has entitled “Camel”.

[Many thanks, bu the way, to all of you who sent postcards to Cedar on his birthday. Notes arrived from as far away as Japan, and Cedar loved them!]

[Above: Cedar's drawing of a mummy.]

My nephew Cedar, who is four years old, was over for Easter this weekend, and he wrote me a new poem about mummies, complete with picture (see above). This is a special poem, as it requires audience involvement. Indeed, after just a few lines about mummies, Cedar told me that “maybe other people can help finish it”. So: Does anyone have further poetic thoughts about mummies? If so, please add them in the comment section.

It’s been nearly two months since I’ve posted any writings by my four year-old nephew Cedar, and it would appear that his fans are getting restless. In a recent comment to Cedar’s last article, a reader declares:

“You are being far too skimpy with the wisdom from this wise sage… when is the next installment? Impatiently waiting… Tell The Great Cedar that we, his followers, await futher teachings. All hail Cedar!”

That said, I humbly share a new poem from the man himself:

As part of a continuing series, here are two informational science articles by my nephew Cedar, who is four years old:

(All the quoted written material above has been transcribed directly from Cedar’s oral narratives — all texts are unrevised and unedited.)

Due to the popularity of the last book my 4-year-old nephew Cedar wrote for me, I am now publishing some of his new work. While his first tome had a decidedly philosophical-theological slant, this new, more poetic work revolves around meterology, fashion, and the surreal. I include only the last three pages, since the first two pages are mainly about running around naked (a common activity for four year-olds) and might embarrass him when he gets a bit older.

Here are the new excerpts:

(illustrations include various strange creatures in the rain)

(illustrations include a dragon-like creature, plus a number of “sting-bugs,” plus a person getting stung)

(illustrations include several people, a cat, and a bird)

In other news from north-central Kansas, Cedar’s momma (and my big sister) Kristin has recently published a few articles on back-to-the-land living in national publications (including CounterPunch, and the Hartford Courant) as part of the Prairie Writers Circle. Check out her latest, from AlterNet, here.

My nephew, Cedar, who is four years old and lives on a farm in Kansas, wrote a book for me yesterday. Since he didn’t know how to mail it to me as I make my way through Central America, his mother (my sister) transposed it into an email. I guess I’ll have to wait a few months to see the illustrations, but I’ll share the text of Cedar’s masterpiece here. My sister promises Cedar made it up entirely on his own.

Here it is: