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As I’ve made final preparations for my backpacking trip the past few months, I’ve come to realize there was one thing I completely underestimated: The act of telling people of my plans and dealing with their reactions is much more time-consuming and emotionally exhausting than expected.
Even more surprising was that this happened in different ways than I’d anticipated – the reactions I imagined actually never came true, and the reactions I never expected happened on repeat.
I’d expect this to be the case for many others who are planning their first trip, so I’ll share my experience in hopes of helping you be better prepared:
What I thought vs. what happened:
Everyone will think I’m crazy. This was the number one thing I worried about. I thought people would think I was going through some life crisis, or having a break down. But nobody thought this, and instead, the most overwhelming response I’ve received was that people admire me for following my dream and are inspired.
They won’t understand “wanderlust” because they don’t have it. They get it. In fact, many of them will tell you about their friend or family member who did something similar, and how cool they think it is, and how they wish they could do it.
I’m going to be lectured on the poor economy and this being a terrible time to quit my job. I did get a couple off-hand comments about this, but for the most part, people responded with things like, “If you’re going to do something like this, now’s the time” and “A job’s a job – there will be more waiting when you get back.”
What I didn’t expect, but constantly happened:
People were afraid for my safety. As I mentioned in my post last week, I was prepared to respond to the safety concerns of others, but I wasn’t prepared for that to be the number one response I’d hear from every single family member – complete with horrified looks on their faces. I wasn’t prepared for people to refer me to articles such as the most dangerous cities in the world, or for people to take it upon themselves to research safety for me (as if I hadn’t already done so myself).
People were shocked that I’d only be bringing a backpack. In fact, a couple of my friends asked if I’d be shipping my belongings in advance. A coworker who’d just returned from a 5-day vacation with a huge suitcase was speechless. Another coworker was fascinated by the foreseen freedom that comes from such limited belongings. I’ve received about a half dozen requests for my packing list.
People were amazed that I’d be going alone. It’s important to remember that most people are used to going on “vacations” with other people. The idea of a 29-year-old woman traveling through Latin America alone can be extremely appalling to them. I’ve learned to explain that in the backpacking world this is quite common, and that I’ll meet other travelers and volunteers along the way.
A conclusion I’ve made is to remember that people who don’t travel often or have the desire for a traveling lifestyle haven’t read the hundreds of blogs and half-dozen books that I’ve read, nor been exposed to the huge online community of people who do this every day – and it’s not their fault. So it’s important to be prepared to explain it to them, and when you do, you’ll find that most people are much more understanding and accepting than you might expect.
I’ve always been one to care too much about what other people think, but this process has helped me realize it’s not worth worrying about. People who know you and care about you will support you. And as long as you’re confident in your decision, that’s the only opinion that matters.
Three kids recently asked if they could sing a song for me outside of Phnom Penh’s National Museum. They were between five and ten years old, barefoot, and covered in dirt.
How can you say no to this?
Baffled, I obliged. They sang an adorable (and broken) version of a Sean Kingston song before breaking out into a more original number, pleading in unison for money to spend on food and school. Their bursting giggles turned to murmurs of desperation and they rubbed their bellies to show me their hunger. I gave them a dollar and my bottle of water, and they were quickly back to giggles before running away.
My new friends worked Sean Kingston into their act, but street children have many ways of asking for money and it’s often difficult to say no.
One brave girl latched onto my arm at Angkor Wat, tugging my bag and yelling, “I want money and I want a meal!” I said “maybe later” and kept walking, but not without a guilty conscience. She let me know that that “maybe later” means “yes” in Cambodia. Sure enough, she reappeared a few hours later to ask again.
Visit tourist areas all over the world and you’ll likely have a similar experience. You’ll see kids tapping on taxi windows in India, and begging women holding sleeping infants in Bangkok. With scenes like this all over developing countries, when, if ever, is it best to give?
Typical scene along the Bangkok Skytrain- photo from photographyofthailand.com
Taking a cue from the ChildSafe organization in Sihanoukville, Cambodia, I learn that our money actually does more harm than good.
A begging six year old girl can often earn more money per day than her parents, making her a necessary income source for the family. The more handouts she gets, the more appealing it becomes to continue living as a beggar. If she can make a good living on the streets, why go to school? These children are exposed to sexual exploitation (most often in the form of child prostitution) and drugs, either for themselves or for their parents or “beggar masters.” Cambodia has one of the highest rates of child solvent addiction, and tourist dollars continue to support these habits. Many kids remain beggars for the rest of their lives.
A Cambodian child sniffing glue - photo from eyeofzann
Next time you see a child with outstretched arms, no matter how adorable, think about the power of your dollar. Give your money instead to organizations that are trained to help break the cycle of street begging. Below are a few exceptional charities!
Friends International
Street Friends
Think Before Giving
Save The Children
Well,” said Pooh, ”what I like best,” and then he had to stop and think. Because although eating honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called.”
–A.A. Milne
Anticipation and reminiscence are two often overlooked aspects of our travels – the forgotten bookends our of journeys. It’s easy to forget, in our haste and excitement, that the dreaming and scheming, as well as remembering, is as much a part of travel as is the actual experience. I recall being in my mid-20′s and spending hours researching (read: romanticizing) my new Korean home and the ESL position I was soon to take. Daydreaming about the land of the morning calm was just as potent an antidote to the day-to-day banality I felt I was drudging through as was the eventual time I spent living there. The pre-departure habits I developed evolved into the rituals that I still observe today. Xe.com for currency rates. The U.S. State department for warnings (often unheeded) and national background information. Various language resources to make the inevitable linguistic awkwardness less so upon arrival. And, of course, using seasonal weather reports to inform my clothing choices. I looked at scores of photos and read voraciously on the history and culture and foods and language. The mounting excitement I felt in the weeks leading up to my departure and the release I experienced when finally boarding that plane…that was as important as the months I spent toiling and exploring the tiny Korean peninsula.
And, on the other end, we have the return. Coming home with outlandish tales of newfound amateur immigrant status and narrowly averted debacles. Stories of food markets, raw fish, majestic sunsets, vulgar rubbish piles and soju soaked Saturdays. In sharing our experiences we’re, in no small way, reliving our travels. We subject friends and family to photos that will always mean more to us. Paul Theroux can be quoted, “Travel is only glamorous in retrospect.”, yet I’d disagree with him and say that we need to recall our trials and travails as well as our triumphs for this allows us to view our experiences as a whole and not in some reductive, simplified manner. Returning home calls for an honest nostalgia, if not for posterity’s sake, then simply to better appreciate the good times. And how can we begin to appreciate the bitter without the sweet?
I’ll leave you with a case in point: Homer’s 8th century classic, “Odyssey” is compromised of 24 books, yet the journey itself is a mere 4 volumes long (1/6 or 16.67% for the mathematically inclined). What’s in the other 20 books you ask (aka the bulk of the Odyssey)? That’s the build-up, the anticipation, the planning, the return; that’s life happening. The takeaway is that traveling doesn’t start when we set down “in-country” anymore than it ends when we board the final plane home. The vagabonding spirit is conceived deep within us, when we become pregnant with the desire for emotional, mental, spiritual or physical adventures and, so long as we remain inwardly and outwardly curious, it never dies.
Okay, enough waxing philosophically about anticipation and reminiscence – what about you? What is your story, what are your rituals? What is your favorite part about planning travels or coming home?
Just three weeks before I’d planned to leave for Guatemala, the first country on my itinerary for my first long-term trip, a friend forwarded an email from her Guatemalan friend regarding my upcoming travels:
“My advice is that if she has her heart set on going to Guate, do the volunteering thing and keep travel limited to Lake Atitlan and Antigua … If her heart can be persuaded to go to Nicaragua and Costa Rica, I would highly recommend that … Guatemala is in a sort of state of war where human life is very poorly regarded and that is why if you get mugged it is VERY dangerous …”
She also referenced a recent New York Times story explaining that the Peace Corps recently decided not to send new volunteers to Guatemala as it is assessing safety.
Ok, I knew Guatemala was a developing country and that there would be dangers, and I’d been armed and ready to explain to my family and friends that I’d be ok. I’d read tons of forums about safety in Guatemala. I’d read numerous blogs about female solo travel. I knew all the places to avoid, all the things to do and things not to do.
But the Peace Corps backing away and a Guatemalan resident recommending against coming? This was enough to give me major pause.
I spent the entire weekend researching other options. I narrowed it down based on volunteer opportunities I’d found in Argentina, Ecuador, Peru and Paraguay. I was all set to completely change my flight and my entire plan.
And then I talked to more people: A 23-year-old woman who recently arrived at the volunteer organization in Xela, Guatemala, where I’d be going, said she had the same concerns as me – especially after hearing the news about the Peace Corps – but once she got there, she felt safe overall. I heard from another female volunteer coordinator who confirmed that Xela has a large foreign community and that the majority of volunteers are single female travelers. She said, “You should definitely take precautions and use common sense at all times, however there is no need to be afraid or alarmed all the time.”
I also talked to my friend who lived in Guatemala for a year, who could connect me with many contacts if needed. And I talked to my uncle, who has done missionary work there for many years, who said as long as I’m with others, I will be ok.
It’s tough to know who to listen to, but I decided to stick with my original plan.
Dealing with the safety concerns brought up by others has been one of the most unexpected aspects of my trip planning so far, and has certainly spun me in circles several times. But what it comes down to is that there’s no guarantee of safety anywhere, and as long as I take all the precautions and remain aware of my surroundings, I’ll be doing the best I can to avoid problems.
Here are some of the things I try to remind myself as well as others when they question my safety:
Here are some articles I found helpful in my research about Guatemala safety and female solo travel safety:
Media has been abuzz lately about the infamous dealings of dog trafficking. It’s not the purebred puppy mill business they’re describing, but the smuggling of dogs for dinner in Southeast Asia’s Mekong Delta. Street dogs, purebreds and even stolen pets with collars on are making their way via small wire cages to restaurants and dinner tables around the region. The business is thriving, and people are beginning to notice.
Canine cuisine in Vietnam, Korea and parts of China is nothing new; people have been feasting on man’s best friend in Asian countries and beyond for thousands of years. Why, then, is it making a splash in international news?
Street puppies at Kathmandu's KAT center
For starters, it’s the wrong season to be a dog in Southeast Asia. The cold months around Chinese New Year already increase the demands of the dog trade, since the delicacy is said to “warm” those who are eating it, help with metabolism, and even bring good luck.
Flooding in Thailand in late 2011 has also enabled business to thrive, as rising street dog numbers turn Bangkok into a dog catching free-for-all. Animal rescue groups are still working to find homes for the displaced animals, but smugglers often find them first.
Dogs in Bangkok after the floods
Perhaps what is most alarming, however, is the newfound attention on domesticated pets. Thailand’s Soi Dog Foundation suggests that captured street dogs simply do not fill the demand in a season when dog meat reigns supreme. What to do when street dogs are in short supply? Stolen pets become a dog trafficker’s target.
Of course not everyone sides with the PETA activists and animal lovers. As perverse as it seems to feast on fido, (whether street dog or pet,) this business has been thriving for years and doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Roasted dog in parts of Vietnam is as common as roasted chicken in the states. It’s not even the animal cruelty that’s illegal, but the underground trade business which generates millions of dollars each year. For as long as the meat remains popular and lucky, there will definitely be dog for dinner.
What can you do? Aside from not dining in dog restaurants, there are several organizations around the world that focus on street dog welfare and putting an end to the illegal trade. The Soi Dog Foundation and the Kathmandu Animal Treatment center are just a few. Lastly? Don’t bring your dog on your backpacking trip around Vietnam this winter!
Locations are like lovers; sometimes we’re in the mood for the type of grand romance that only Paris and the Champs-Élysées can provide whereas other times it’s the exotic promise of Tahiti or the gritty resolve and urban brilliance of Istanbul that attracts us. The neon tawdriness of the Las Vegas strip is a cheap date, literally and figuratively, yet after we’ve danced and courted the city we eventually move on. After each sojourn we travel onto the next location and, in sticking with the metaphor, onto the next lover. That’s part and parcel of the beauty of travel – we can flirt with, understand, and love the world one person, one neighborhood, one city, and one nation at a time. For the vagabonding soul this is somewhat of a fait accompli for our relationships are destined to be fleeting. We love, often briefly, intensely, and then we move on. Even if we elect to go the ex-pat route and stay long-term it would be impossible to deny the lust in our hearts. While in the August humidity and perpetual hustle of Seoul would not our minds at times turn towards thoughts of other locations, back to the classic beauty of Greece or the ancient appeal of Egypt? No matter where we are, would we not at some point give in to Baudelairean thinking – “anywhere, anywhere, as long as it be out of this world“? We are destined to be flirts, to tease and be teased by each lover as is dictated by our intrepid and innate curiosity. We are driven to know what’s around the corner, over the hill, under the bridge, and, most importantly, within us. The serial monogamy that is long-term travel affords us an ideal opportunity for such growth and exploration. And in a landscape that is littered with our past relationships, it’s only too easy to be driven forward by the nagging notion that personal growth is just around the corner in the arms of the next lover.
A final thought: when a love grows stale and the dull flame of passion begins to flicker and die out, you’re free to pack your bags and board the next plane or train or bus out of that proverbial Siam. No harm, no fuss, no messy divorce (And, perhaps best of all, future dalliances remain an option); in this way travel itself is the ultimate open relationship and each location becomes the ultimate lover.
Who have been your past loves and what future conquests are you eying in 2012?
After over 2 years and almost 70 Vagabonding Case Studies, we’ve profiled many different types of long term travelers. Single people, couples, and families. Men and women, first-timers and seasoned veterans, young and old.
Two things have become very clear;
Vagabonding’s newest contributors come from an equally diverse set of backgrounds and locations. We have a Colorado photographer studying International Development, a woman who travels the U.S. with her two horses and three dogs, and a PR professional from Chicago about to leave on her first long trip. You’ll get to know a documentary filmmaker in Tel Aviv, a punk rock guitarist and linguist from Penang, a career breaker living in Bangkok, and a woman happily recovering from spending four years cycling across North and South America with her family.
These new contributors are but the first and most crucial part of what will be an exciting year here at Vagabonding, as we bring together this growing community of travelers.
Please give them a great big welcome!
Video: Vlogger Natalie Tran on how to cook in a hotel room
I’ve mentioned vlogger Natalie Tran in a previous post. In the video above, she shows you uses everyday hotel items as cooking utensils. Definitely not as the manufacturers intended.
From seeing that, it’s understandable why some backpackers rate hostels with kitchens more highly. If you’re in an expensive city or country, cooking on your own can save quite a bit of cash. Besides, no one can cook something exactly how you want it, unless you do it.
Watching that clip brought to mind those times when I’ve had to “MacGyver” a solution to a problem. Basic things like washing your clothes in a sink, inventing new culinary creations from leftovers in the refrigerator, and things like that. No matter how well you plan in advance, chances are you forgot to pack something. Or a hostel doesn’t have quite the facilities you expected. That’s when resourcefulness kicks in, and you build your own solution to a problem.
Have ever been in a “MacGyver” situation? What did you do? Please share your stories in the comments.
Just for fun, I’ve included a scene from MacGyver below.
Just a reminder that the deadline to apply to join the team here at Vagablogging is fast approaching. If you’re been putting off submitting something, head to the nearest internet cafe and fire off an e-mail.
We’re looking for a few new contributors to post once or twice a week on vagabonding-related topics of their choice — from travel tips to destination suggestions to reviews of travel media.
The ideal writer should be familiar with Vagabonding and the philosophy behind it. To get an idea what we’re looking for in terms of content and style, take a look at our recent posts and archives. The best posts are informative in nature and conversational in tone. The deadline for submitting is December 31st. We’ll announce our new contributors along with the new look on January 15th.
Though the positions are unpaid, it’s a great opportunity to build a readership, establish contacts, and create professional opportunities in the travel-writing realm. Vagabloggers who’ve landed lucrative gigs after writing for us include Tim Ferriss (who wrote a little bestseller called The 4-Hour Work Week), Justin Glow (who went on to full-time editing positions at Gadling and AOL), and a number of individuals who’ve landed paid freelance work at World Hum, the National Post, Gadling, US Airways Magazine, Travelers’ Tales, the Los Angeles Times, and other travel-writing venues. Kristin Pope even got a call from The Daily Show after her post about “staycations”.
To be considered for a weekly slot at Vagablogging, please email 2-3 previously unpublished sample posts (200-600 words each) to our managing editor, Ted Beatie (ted *at* tedbeatie *dot* com). To ensure Ted gets your submission, please include the word “Vagablogging” in the subject header. Also be sure to include a little bit about yourself, like where you’re from, your best travel experiences, and anything else you think we should know.
If you’ve already submitted your writing samples, thank you! And please be patient, we’ll be announcing our picks very soon.
Common area at Albareda Youth Hostel in Barcelona. Photo: Oh-Barcelona.com / Flickr
Nomadic Matt recently posted a list called My favorite hostels in the world. Goes to show that low prices don’t always mean low quality. You can save money and have a great time.
Matt’s list spurred me to remember which hostels I’ve enjoyed over the years. Here are some of my picks:
Circus (Berlin, Germany) — If every hostel was as grand as Circus, I’d never worry about staying in a hostel again. I’ve been in hotels that weren’t as cool as Circus. Very trendy, a designer hostel.
Beijing Jade International Youth Hostel — Out of all the hostels I’ve seen in China, this was was the best. Huge, like a hotel, and very clean. Big restaurant and common area on the ground floor.
Yes Inn (Hong Kong) — When you absolutely have to visit Hong Kong for a visa run and don’t want to stay in the Chungking Mansions. Clean, modern, and in Hong Kong Island. I’ve been to this hostel more often than any other because of doing visa runs from Taiwan. I’ve recommended this place to dozens of travelers.
K’s House Tokyo Oasis — Flat-out most awesome hostel in Tokyo. Has the feel of a traditional inn, but all the modern conveniences of an up-to-date building.
Take a Nap (Bangkok, Thailand) Love this hostel. One of the few, along with Circus, that has individual beds, not bunk beds. Each dorm has its own bathroom, saving you the embarrassment of walking down the hall to take a shower. Very colorful and fun too.
Chocolate Box Backpackers (Taipei, Taiwan) — A good hostel with a super-central location across from the Shida night market. Clean and solid. What really cements the place in my memory were the friendly staff and travelers I met there. So many fun times.
Bedz KL (Kuala Lumpur) — When I was backpacking through Southeast Asia, I passed through Kuala Lumpur a lot because it’s the main hub for Air Asia, a low-cost airline. Bedz KL was my favorite out of the ones I’ve been in. Feels like the apartment of a rich friend.
What are the best hostels you’ve stayed in? Please share your recommendations and stories in the comments.
