Pay a visit back home, or plan another trip?
We all know what it feels like to have the travel bug – to begin planning your next trip on the way home from the one you’re on (if you can even wait that long). Most of the time, planning a new adventure brings feelings of happiness – but sometimes that travel bug, the need to get out there and see the world, causes a bit of anxiety and heartache, too.
BootsnAll member Wild Jasmyne has a bit of a dilemma, and she’s hoping for some words of wisdom from other travelers on the BootsnAll boards. She’s nearly done with her degree in African Studies, and has been living in Mali for the past seven months. During that time, along with all the amazing experiences she’s had, she also – as she puts it – “picked up an amazing husband on the way.” They’ll be moving to his home in Togo later this year, and now that she’s approaching the time when she was originally planning to return home to see family back in the US she’s having second thoughts.
I recently commited about $2000 US to a 2 week trip to London & Oktoberfest in September. That was supposed to be my plane ticket back to Denver. But with the extra semester in school I’m getting an extra $5000 from financial aid. So now THAT’s supposed to be our plane tickets home. BUT I am sitting here in my awesome job behind a bar under a mango tree, dreaming about the house we are going to start building in Lome on our beach property that we already own. And I’m looking at Kayak… and BootsnAll… and Lonelyplanet. And I just realized a plane ticket from Ghana to India is $1000 cheaper than going back to Denver. INDIA. I have always wanted to go there.
Have you ever been in Wild Jasmyne’s situation? When you’re forced to choose between a home visit – to see family, take care of business, etc. – and another trip someplace new, do you do the “responsible” thing and go home? Or do you tell family to come visit you?
The truth is that there isn’t really one answer for a question like this, as each person’s situation is going to be different. But if anything about Wild Jasmyne’s story resonates with you, I’m sure she would love your input. Be sure to click through to the BootsnAll boards and leave your thoughts on the thread.
July 17th, 2010 at 11:10 am
When you are young your life task is to become independent of your parents and make your own life. In different economic times and cultures, establishing a home and raising children required family help. Now, not so much. As you get older, you will begin to appreciate connections to family more. Those connections may not be there for you if you neglect them during these earlier years. While you are learning to be self-sufficient at a distance, your family is learning to forget about you and stop caring so much about what happens to you. If they do that too effectively, you will have little to come home to later, when you may want them to be there for you. I would rethink this devaluing of home unless you are prepared to let go forever.
July 18th, 2010 at 8:10 am
If you can afford the trip, I’d choose travel. “Home” will always be there.
July 19th, 2010 at 10:19 am
Interesting article and points from “Grandma and Steve.” Jasmyne needs to go within to find the answer. She could always travel and then plan a trip home next year. Jasmyne could keep in contact with family via email, instant messaging, SKYPE, and texting. There’s no need to totally cut-off family when you travel. You may think there is but then you’ll soon realize your family’s all you got. Friends may come and go but most families will be there for you no matter what. I’m speaking from personal experience. I kind of, sort of, cut my family off for the past 2 3/4 years but they’re still there for me. I kept in contact, mostly via email but it was all about me. I never once asked how they were doing. This was recently brought to my attention. It made me realize how much I do love and miss my family no matter how quirky or aggravating they can be. I’ve grown and changed and have accepted they’re still the same and it’s their right to be the way they want to be. Nobody’s perfect!
July 19th, 2010 at 11:08 am
Grandma, makes some interesting points. However, as someone who has traveled quite a bit, I thing Jasmyne should consider planning a trip where she can incorporate stopping near family, as part of it. If her husband has never been to her home, then he may really enjoy getting to experience that as well as meeting his new in-laws. India isn’t going anywhere…and she could travel there on the way back to Africa from the US. RTW tix can be quite affordable if you do some research.
Maintaining family ties is important, and while email and skype are great, nothing beats a hug.
July 19th, 2010 at 1:26 pm
I’m regularly annoyed at how much it costs for me to get to the sort-of remote city where I grew up, but have made the trek home many times since I left almost a decade ago. I’m always living in interesting places and figure over the next bit… maybe the family will want to visit me instead?
July 21st, 2010 at 1:04 pm
I totally agree with this from Rebecca: “I kept in contact, mostly via email but it was all about me. I never once asked how they were doing. This was recently brought to my attention.”
I’ve done the same thing and was so embarrassed when I realized how selfish I was. It all depends on how important family is to Jasmyne because going home to Denver isn’t really about her at all. It’s about making her family crazy happy simply by walking through the front door.
At least that’s how I see it.