Going solo for the first time

backpackerWith limited vacation time, my husband can’t always accompany me on my trips. When he is unavailable, I usually call on one of the few friends who I can always count on to join me in my next adventure. But, I am embarrassed to say, I have never traveled on my own. Oh, I’ve gone somewhere alone before (usually for work), but it’s always been a place in the US. It’s always been somewhere that, though the streets signs may not be familiar, the customs, language, and culture generally are.

But on my most recent trip, though I traveled with a group, I decided to spend one afternoon wandering the streets of a small town on my own. I’ll admit it: before I set out, I was terrified. I wasn’t afraid for my safety, but the idea of exploring on my own, in a place where I clearly stood out as an “other”, where I didn’t know more than three words in the local language, and where the potential to seriously embarrass myself was high, frightened me.

When I travel with my husband, I find myself too often relying on him to do the “hard stuff” – negotiating prices, asking for directions, and ordering food in another language. I want to have the courage to do these things, yet when he is around, I always find myself hanging back while he takes the lead.

So at first I kept my distance. Without a buffer – a friend to laugh with or my husband to act as Spanish translator – I felt self conscious. But gradually I realized I had nothing to fear. I wandered the streets. I said hello to the people I passed. I snapped pictures and I felt my trepidation disappear. I passed a group of women selling grilled meat and tortillas on the street, and with a smile, gestures, and few garbled words in Spanish, managed to order myself a plate.

As I walked back to my hotel, the plate of food still hot in my hands, I wondered what I had been afraid of.  No one laughed….okay, maybe they laughed a bit, but so did I. But I realized my fear was completely irrational.

I’ll still be doing the majority of my traveling with my husband or with a friend, but now I know that when I need to indulge my itchy feet and can’t find anyone to travel with me, I can be my own traveling companion. It may not always be easy, but that’s one of the best aspects of travel. It pushes us out of our comfort zone, and in my case, teaches us that being alone is no reason to be afraid.  

Photo credit: shortie66via Flickr

Posted by | Comments (2)  | November 11, 2009
Category: Solo Travel


2 Responses to “Going solo for the first time”

  1. Travel-Writers-Exchange.com Says:

    Traveling solo can be exhilarating. It can be scary the first time you travel by yourself, but it’s very freeing. There’s no one to check with when you leave the hotel to wander the streets. You get to do whatever you want without all of the “drama” that could come with traveling with a partner, spouse, or friend. Plus, solo travel teaches you about true independence. And, it’s a great test of the psyche. What fears show up? How will you handle them? Are they true? Solo travel can take you places you never dreamed of going!

  2. Ryan Brandle Says:

    I think that everybody feels something similar the first time they step out of their comfort zone. It’s human nature. When people ask me why I am not scared to head off to the middle east or backpack the “dangerous” country of Colombia, I try to explain it like this… People are naturally afraid of the unknown. Example, have you ever been scuba diving? I was pretty terrified of jumping into deep dark water for the first time, but once I did and ended up at the bottom of the ocean… it was magical. From the top looking down you can’t see anything, allowing your mind to dwindle on all the horrible man eating creatures looking up at you. But when you’re on the bottom looking up, the watery realm around is completely illuminated. You can see everything and you wonder… what the hell was I so afraid of? The fact is you can not truly understand this until you do it yourself. That’s how you gain the confidence and experience needed to become a great independent traveler. People who question if what you’re doing is crazy… well most of them simply haven’t been exposed to solo travel. Their fear holds them back and their perceptions of what the world out there is like will remain molded by others instead of their own eyes. Good for you Katie!