Things you didn't really want to know about French cheese

For you travel-foodies who travel to France primarily to enjoy the cuisine, this outtake from the July 2005 issue of Harper's might make you take pause when shopping for cheese:

• Sweaty: sour, stale, somewhat cheesy aromatics reminiscent of perspiration-generated foot odor, found in unwashed gym socks and shoes
• Goaty: pungent, musty, and somewhat sour, reminiscent of wet animal hair (fur)
• Animalic: a combination of aromatics associat­ed with farm animals and the inside of a barn
• Musty/earthy: a slight musty aromatic associat­ed with raw potatoes and damp humus
• Musty/dry: aromatics associated with closed air spaces, such as attics and closets
• Ashy/sooty: bark-like lingering aromatics asso­ciated with a cold campfire
• Fermented: combination of sour aromatics asso­ciated with green vegetation, sauerkraut, soured hay, or composted grass
• Green/herbaceous: fresh, green, slightly sour aromatics associated with green vegetables, newly cut vines, snap peas
• Chemical: an aromatic associated with a broad range of compounds, which may or may not include chlorine, ammonia, aldehydes, etc.
• Biting: a slight burning, prickling, and/or numb­ness of the tongue and/or mouth surface
• Butyric: an aromatic that is sour and cheesy, reminiscent of baby vomit